“So what does it take? I’m living with depression and devoting all of my energy to learning how to beat anxiety. And it’s one shortcoming after another. Truth is I’m a failure, and I seriously can’t take it anymore!”
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Listen to me, okay? It’s gonna’ be alright.
If you’re giving your all, even for a moment, in the midst of living with depression and/or learning how to beat anxiety, I know the presence of even one symptom can equate to perceived failure. Yes, I truly know.
But when it’s all said and done, if you can look yourself in the mirror and say “Hey, you really gave it your best shot,” ya’ gotta’ work toward rewarding yourself with a hearty “Job well done!” And that means putting the kibosh on this “What the heck is wrong with you?” biz.
Really now, isn’t this how it almost always goes down? The meeting, date, exam, trip, game, day – you name it – has ended. Well, the dust has settled and in very short order you’re asking yourself, “How did I do?”
But, come on, doesn’t it go well beyond that? I say things quickly move-on to “Was I good enough?” Right? No doubt, time and again it comes down to the “I” evaluation. And it’s typically about somehow coming up short. (By the way, upon whose expectations is the evaluation based?)
Seriously, is that how it is with you?
Well, unless your livelihood relies upon your performance(s), is that appraisal angle the one you really want to go with? Hmmm, I’d sure be mulling that one over.
I submit when it’s all said and done – and the dust has settled – we opt for the following…
“Did I give my all?” or “Did I do my best?” Heck, I’ll take the jock route and offer “Did I leave it all on the field?”
What do you think?
I believe it’s important for anyone to consider – adopt – this mindset. However, it’s crucial for those with leanings toward mood and anxiety “complications” (don’t much like using “disorder”). How unfairly hard – cruel – we can be on ourselves. Can I get a “Duh!” on that?
Any of these ring true?
- “I was so anxious throughout that meeting today. That shouldn’t be happening this far into therapy. I’m such a joke!”
- “What a failure I am. All I wanted was even one minute of joy today, and I couldn’t manage to come up with it.”
- “I was so depressed and anxious this morning, it was all I could do to force myself out of the house. I’m such a weak-stick!”
My gut says you identified with one or more or those self-lashings.
Fact! You work so hard on your mood and/or anxiety circumstances. I know you do, and you deserve so much better than a chop to the throat. So why not just leave it at feeling good about giving your all? It really can be that simple.
Here, perhaps one of my poems will provide some inspiration and direction…
What You Can
You give what you can
When you have it
You take it in stride
When you don’t
You do what you can when you feel it
It isn’t a crime if you won’t
You say what you can
When the words are at hand
You keep it inside when they’re not
You be what you can if the cupboard’s bare
You can’t play it cool when you’re hot
Who are you
Who am I
Acting on command
I don’t need to play the part to do the best I can
Drop the fake demands
I don’t need to go beyond
The one I know I am
Chipur reader, if you’re living with depression or spending buckets of energy gaining insight into how to beat anxiety, give yourself the hugest of breaks, okay? Come on, claim satisfaction in having given your all.
Oh, I know there’s so much you want to accomplish – so much pain you’d like to leave in the rear-view mirror. But your mission and effort are so worthy of recognition. Surely you’ve earned that hearty “Job well done!”
Won’t you say, and receive, it?
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Hi! I’m Bill White, founder and producer of Chipur – and a licensed counselor. Are you looking for help? The miles are irrelevant. Visit my Coaching|Mentoring page.To My Google+ Profile