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I tell myself, ‘I must go on.’ But why?

PTSD

Doesn’t matter what’s cookin’ – anorexia, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, depression. When we’re feeling our worst, life often comes down to declaring “I must go on.” Seriously, though – why “must we go on?” Let’s do some diggin’ here. Even tossed-in one of my poems to lend a hand.

I mean, do we make the declaration because that’s just what folks do when they sense no other option ‘amid the rain?’ Or maybe we turn to ‘I must go on.’ to veil our hopelessness…

Take a look at the image. Study it for a moment. Notice the tension in the hand, fingers, and wrist. Look at the worn fingernails. It’s an all-out clenching for survival, don’t you think?

Is that how “life” is for you?

Perhaps when you awaken each and every morning – and the reality of another day in paradise sinks in – you gather enough breath and verbally remind yourself – “I must go on.”

And maybe that’s becoming more and more difficult to do.

That Poem I Promised

I was in the midst of such “paradise” some years ago. And as I was considering my misery I came up with this poem. I wonder if it’s a fit for you…

I’ll Try Again

Whenever life is hurt and pain
Vision’s blurred by bitter rain
It seems all hope is surely gone
I tell myself
I must go on

At times I feel such deep despair
The burden more than I can bear
I can’t see past another day
But still I must prepare the way

In times of doubt and fainting heart
When from this world I’d choose to part
I know not what the answers are
I must believe they’re not too far

Whenever life is bitter bleak
Before I take the grand defeat
I’ll rise once more amid the rain
And swear to all
I’ll try
Again

So what do you think? Did it ring true?

“But Why?”

Okay, in the face of the ultimate struggle we manage to come up with the infamous (cliché?) “I must go on.” But why (must we go on)?

I mean, do we make the declaration because that’s just what folks do when they sense no other option “amid the rain?” Or maybe we turn to “I must go on” to veil our hopelessness, that which we can’t bring ourselves to face. I mean, I hear it all the time…

  • “I’d go ahead and end it, Bill, but I can’t do that to my children.”
  • “I really want to die, but I don’t want to go to hell.”

Tough statements to read – and write. Real-world, nonetheless.

Making It Count

So think about it. What’s really behind “I must go on?” And if we’re unable to come up with an answer, perhaps it’s time to roll-up our sleeves and do what it takes to make the declaration count.

If we don’t (won’t), the words are nothing more than a shallow alternative to the grand adios.

For those who choose to make the declaration count, there are all sorts of options. However, for my money the best place to start is finding and nurturing a life purpose – mission.

What better time to accomplish the necessary than when life is “bitter bleak?”

To get the ball rolling, I’m recommending your read a piece I wrote several years ago – What Is the Meaning of Life? I’m Living with Depression and Anxiety! Take your time with it, and take it to heart, okay?

Know what, though? You don’t have to follow my recommendation. I mean, maybe something else will do it for you. All I’m saying is, if you’re going to declare “I must go on,” make it count by backing it with forward-motion substance. You can do it!

That’ll Be That

Once more, it doesn’t matter what misery is at play in your life – PTSD, anorexia, borderline personality disorder, a bipolar spectrum disorder, schizophrenia. Many of us get to the point where our only response to our tired circumstances is “I must go on.”

But before making the declaration, let’s pause and ask ourselves why, and back it with substance – guts. See, it’s about personal responsibility and accountability. Things that come in handy when circumstances run lean.

And that’s the name of that tune.

Having trouble coming up with reasons to go on? You may want to consider a consultation or a coaching/mentoring relationship.

Not ready yet? Plenty of helpful Chipur articles to get you through.