It’s time to wrap the series, and I’d like to begin by reiterating how it began. I received an email last week from a new reader who reached-out to me in the midst of great hopelessness, asking for absolutely nothing in return.
Her story, along with what I so often see and hear in the E.R., got me thinking again about how we survive overwhelming circumstances. And it motivated me to share my own.
Yes, I took the risk of sharing some painful and embarrassing recent circumstances because I had to somehow show this reader that we can absorb blows of despair and hopeless, and carry on. But, you know, I really believe I needed to pour forth what had happened as a means of release. Believe me, very few people knew what had gone down before I shared on the blog.
Before I hit my purpose here I want to provide a quick update. In February 2009, three months after my nightmare began, I found a part-time job in my field. Though it didn’t solve my financial woes, what a boost it was to be working again. And that part-time job turned into full-time work several months later. I still have much I want to accomplish, but well on the way I am.
Now to the point. When I look back at the very cold and cruel times of just about exactly one year ago I reflect upon what kept me going. Well, one of the first things that comes to mind are the 10 Keystones of Recovery that served me so well during my recovery from panic disorder, depression, and alcoholism…
- A never-ending sense of hope and optimism
- The will to fight for what was rightfully mine
- A sense of humor
- A desire to stay physically strong
- A strong spiritual base
- An ever-present vision of how I wanted to live
- A solid character foundation
- The belief that the misery I was experiencing could be reversed
- The desire to help others who suffer in a like manner
- A thirst for knowledge
And then there was Viktor Frankl, whose image I proudly display. He believed we find meaning in life by…
- Creating a work or doing a deed.
- Experiencing something or encountering someone.
- The attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.
In order, here’s what I did to adhere to Frankl’s teachings…
- Began a re-write of Panic! …and Poetic Justice. And that evolved into a new web presence, which led to this blog, which has grown to soon become feelingsandfears.com.
- I truly experienced my very hurting and desperate self. And I encountered so many hurting souls in the course of my E.R. psychiatric work.
- I absolutely hated suffering. But I accepted it was, indeed, unavoidable because as my head hit the pillow when the day was done, I knew I’d done all I could to find relief.
Hey…I’m on empty. How ’bout a few lines from one of my poems…
“How I’ve worked so very hard and sailed a treacherous sea. Bring me to my day, long last; a day of being me.”
Image credit pbs.org
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