STRUGGLING with DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, or BIPOLARITY? LEARNING can really HELP. Start with ARTICLES above or Topics below. Ty! Bill

Positive Self-Regard: 12 things you can do to own it.

Let’s see if we can wrap-up our discussion on negative self-image. Between yesterday’s post and our life experience, I’m thinking we have a pretty good handle on just what it is. So let’s roll-up our sleeves and get down to doing something about it.

Had I not brought the subject up yesterday, would you even be thinking about it right now? Of course not. But you’d sure be jammed with thoughts and feelings of what an awful excuse for a human being you are. That’s how pervasive our negative patterns of thought truly are.

And that’s because we’ve spent most of our lives, as well as most every minute of every day, beating the heck out of ourselves with a huge whippin’-stick called negative self-talk. And since we’ve suffered so many perceived defeats throughout our lives, we just don’t see how our fortunes could ever change.

So on we go assuming we’re totally incapable of possessing any positives, and our personal net worth remains at absolute zero…thrown right in the old self-esteem dumpster. And our thoughts, feelings, and behavior chronically display, and all the more feed, our destructive self-deception.

Here are 12 things we can do right now to turn things around…

  • Gain insight into our habitual self-defacement
  • Believe that just as the repetition of negative thoughts got us into this mess, repetition of positive thoughts can get us out of it
  • Tell ourselves what we can do, instead of what we can’t
  • Keep our focus of existence in the present
  • Stay aware of – monitor – our in the moment opinion of ourselves
  • Repeat positive self-assertions aloud whenever we can
  • Write notes of positive self-regard and plaster them everywhere
  • Visualize our self-positives throughout the day and in structured quiet time
  • When we hear nice things being said about others, “audioize” they’re being said about us
  • Ask folks we trust to tell us a few positives about us
  • Include notes of self-compliment in our journals
  • Practice, practice, practice

Wouldn’t you like to feel better about yourself? Well, the only person who can make that happen is (you guessed it) you. Come on, start right now.

All of us need any and all ideas as to how we can achieve and sustain positive self-regard. How ’bout commenting?

  • i know i keep mentioning my “all or nothing thinking” but it seems to me that a huge piece of negative self esteem is just a reflection of just how depressed/anxious we are. (Duh) i.e. i can’t find a job, therefore i am a huge loser in all aspects of my life. so maybe for the ones of us who are slow at finding positives in ourselves and quick to see the negatives, a goal of finding one positive thing a day to focus on and practice repeating…
    i.e. it took guts to follow through on that resume/ad/sign today, instead of the big stuff– I am strong, I am worthwhile. or am i thinking too small and missing the whole point? i can’t see the benefit of saying things i just can’t beleive when I’m in the black hole, but maybe baby steps?????

    • Bill

      Thank you for your comment Karen. Yes, our negative thinking and negative self-regard are definitely indications of our level of anxiety/depression. But that begs the question…what came first, the icky self-opinion or the anxiety/depression. Regardless, I truly believe we have the power to turn it all around. Hey…congratulations on your new job. I’m proud of you.

      • my poorly expressed point was sometimes we need to take baby steps toward our goals- finding something small to like ourselves about, if the big ones seem too hard.

      • Bill

        You expressed yourself well Karen. You always do. And, you bet, we gotta’ hold on to whatever we can as we build our strength and momentum…and broaden our horizons.