Regression: time travel to days when satisfaction was infinite, as life in the immediate gets tough. It can generate buckets of mood and anxiety misery. Seems to me being able to grow ourselves back up would be the ultimate fix. Um, so how do we do that? Let’s give it a go…
We are all capable of growing ourselves back up when we need to do so. The following five things will help you to stop emotionally regressing, or at least help to bring you back to your adult state sooner…John Lee
In that piece, we learned that psych legends, such as Sigmund Freud, believed regression is a short or long-term reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of development. So in the face of an intolerable immediate reality, one escapes to a time when satisfaction and gratification were never-ending.
Regression can become a major problem, as it holds the potential to generate all sorts of mood and anxiety yuck – and more.
Regression Treatment | Growing Ourselves Back Up
Were you to do an internet search for “regression treatment,” you wouldn’t find much pertaining to the emotional side of the fence (yes, we’re working with emotional regression, not past-life regression). That being the case, I had to do some serious digging – and managed to come up with a wonderful angle…
Would you agree that in discussing emotional regression treatment, we’re really talking about growing ourselves back up? Sure we are. Well, here’s a book you need to know about.
Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression, written by teacher, author, and life coach John Lee, is just the perfect resource to get us where we need to go.
Though we’re going to use the book in an effort to treat regression, Lee brings a ton of insight into what regression is. Included are his Red Flags of Regression: raging and hysterics, distorted or unreal time, physical symptoms, talking and talking without saying anything, not talking enough, feeling that you don’t have a choice, thinking you know best, minding other people’s business, and asking childish questions.
He goes on to discuss Understanding Trance Regression and Conscious Regression. And he provides great information on physical, psychological, and other causes.
The 5 Biggies of Growing Ourselves Back Up
After setting the table, Lee rolls up his sleeves and begins the process of helping the reader “grow back up.” Here’s his lead-in…
We are all capable of growing ourselves back up when we need to do so. The following five things will help you to stop emotionally regressing, or at least help to bring you back to your adult state sooner: attention, empathy, time, touch, and release. They can be applied alone or, better yet, in combination.
Let’s take a look at highlights of Lee’s perspective on each, keeping in mind it’s equally important to give, as well as receive…
- Attention: We need to give ourselves and others a very special kind of attention that comes from gentle eyes, a soothing touch, or a simple nod of the head. It isn’t about fixing anger or drying tears. It’s about patience, and letting the sufferer know s/he is being heard.
- Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand what someone is going through because the “empathizer” has gone through similar experiences. Heinz Kohut, the developer of self psychology, believed empathy is the great healer. According to Kohut, when another sensitive human being seeks to understand us, and offer empathy, it’s “the most important emotional experience for human psychological survival and growth.”
- Time: When we need to grow ourselves back up, sometimes all we need is time: time to breathe-in air that isn’t thick with tension and fear, and time to be alone and hear the wind and rain, or the common noises at the window. Lee quotes poet Wallace Stevens: “Sometimes the truth depends on a walk around the lake.”
- Touch: Scientist and researcher Candice Perth says in her book Molecules of Emotion, “In the case of treating mood disorders and other mental unwellness, the mainstream misses a lot by excluding touch.” Lee reminds us, appropriate touch can grow a person back up. Touch that is used inappropriately, or at the wrong time, can deepen the regression.
- Release: Out of his five biggies that’ll grow us back up, Lee believes release is numero uno. He observes that in general, Americans, for example, are all for emotionally letting loose at parties, sporting events, etc. However, they typically consider outward expression of emotions in everyday life uncivilized, especially emotions perceived as negative. Fact: if we can’t release, we can’t take in all we need to live a full life. When our bodies are full of unexpressed emotion, our thinking is dull. When we clear our bodies of stored emotions, our thinking clears up, as well.
The Detour Method
I’d like to share one more gem from Lee. He designed what he calls the Detour Method to help us avoid dumping “stuff” from the past onto innocent people in the present. Lee believes not using the Detour Method is a leading cause of divorce, misunderstandings, premature termination of friendships and working relationships – even parent-child relationships.
If your body has not had its say, if your emotions have been held in for too long, then don’t dump on the wrong person just because they happen to be close to you. Go to a third party – an objective person who will hear you out and not be pulled into your regression. Find someone who will allow you to say, do, or feel what you needed to say, do, or feel many years ago. With the help of this third party, you can regain your adult state. Only then should you go and tell your loved one what you need.
Let’s Wrap ‘Er Up
It’s a shame space constraints prevent me from sharing more from John Lee. Growing Yourself Back Up is a marvelous book, and I encourage you to grab a copy – absorbing and working it.
So, regression – a fascinating phenomenon, don’t you think? And so relevant when it comes to the very foundational causes of our mood and anxiety misery. I find that extremely hopeful, because it means if we’re able to acknowledge and manage our regression, the opportunity for lasting healing is incredible.
Can you buy that? Sure hope so.
679 mood and anxiety disorder titles are here for you. Go ahead, take a peek.