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The Man and a Lesson. Will it be learned?

There’s nothing better than a good story. ‘Course, in this neck of the woods, if it can provide a life lesson or two; all the better. I hope you’ll find meaning in what follows…

By the way, what you’re about to read is based upon events that came to a head just this morning. And I’m taking a risk by sharing, because some involved might decide to visit chipur.

Well, suffice it to say, I believe the take-away is well worth sticking my neck out.

Setting the Table

I know a man, and I care about him. He’s intelligent, sensitive, and loving. True, he’s manipulative – and I dare say he’d own up to that – but unless and until I see the potential for harm, I’m willing to accept it as part of the package.

The man had taken his share of emotional nicks and bruises as a child and teen. And the injuries, no doubt, had a profound impact upon him. Well, on with his life he went, and he became a highly successful businessman. The man and his wife had two children (both now in college). And their distinctly different approaches to parenting ended up causing some problems.

See, the man’s wife was overly strict, and he was the go-to guy when it came to “making things better.” Of course, his healing strategies and techniques often included the material.

One day, the man and his wife decided to go their separate ways. And things quickly became very mean and ugly. The circumstances took a huge toll on everyone involved, but the man big-time took it on the chin and began to spiral downward.

The past few years have been a saga of alcohol and prescription drug abuse, drunk driving convictions, a driver’s license revocation, suicide attempts, psychiatric hospitalizations, an alcoholism and bipolar disorder diagnosis, and county jail time.

But with the support of some very dear friends and his children, as well as psychiatric care; the man made a comeback and began to put his life back together (even though he’s still drinking).

The Main Course

The man, in my humble opinion, feeling desperately guilty over the toll his personal woes had taken on his children; decided some time ago to give them a holiday season they’d never forget. So he planned a two-week skiing and sightseeing trip to Colorado and Arizona.

All were excited, to be sure, but as departure time got close, some very obvious and troubling impracticalities emerged.

No one close to the man wanted to intrude, or rain on his parade; however, concern had grown to the point where we could only hope someone or something would intervene, resulting in the trip being canceled.

Well, that someone and something appeared last night in the person of the man’s daughter. And, as it turns out, she was extremely uneasy about the trip. She was fully aware of the impracticalities and absolutely did not want to go. And her coming forward, indeed, led to the trip hitting the dumpster.

What I found especially touching was the daughter’s insight into the man’s circumstances. She was fully aware of his history, and sensed the potential for the trip to somehow go terribly wrong. And it seems she’d come to realize his intention to compensate she and her brother for some miserable and desperate times.

But guess what? She didn’t care! In fact, all she cared about was the welfare of the man, whom she loved with all her heart.

Such grand misunderstanding, lack of communication, and wasting of time and energy, don’t you think? But that’s how lessons are learned.

To Go

So how ’bout some yummy take-aways…

  1. Love is everything (though how soon we forget).
  2. Managing our excesses is one of the keys to life.
  3. Ongoing, and brutally honest, self-assessment is a necessity.
  4. Be who we are, no matter the perceived reaction.
  5. Be there, without judgment, for those in a jam.

How ’bout it? What take-aways, or feelings and thoughts, might you add? Why not comment and share with all of us?

  • karen

    what a healthy daughter. I assume she is a teen? how brave for her to come forward, but how sad she had to be the parent……

    • Hi There, Karen! First of all, I still owe you a return email. Prob in the morning. Yes, she’s a healthy young lady. And given what’s she’s endured over the years I’m very impressed. And you know, I forgot to mention the children’s ages – she’s 21 and he’s 18. Sure was tough to have to be the one to make the call, but thank God she did. Again, I like the man; however, I like him enough to want to play hardball should I ever have the opportunity to help him. Thanks, as always, for your participation.