We’ll be alright when our mood, anxiety, or trauma-driven episode comes to an end. And it will end. But we may be disappointed by our take on the morning-after sunrise. Let’s talk.
We’ve been chatting the past three days about our worry over never again being alright after a tussle with a time of great personal crisis. We established we would be. But we also acknowledged we can produce buckets of irrational gunk while holed-up in our self-protective woman/man-cave.
By the way, if you haven’t read the previous two articles in the series, please do. Here are the links…
In yesterday’s article I presented one the of countless scenarios that may be at the foundation of a personal crisis episode. It detailed someone who’d been unemployed, essentially broke, stressed to the max, and had virtually no remaining self-esteem.
Well, that someone not only found a great job, but learned a $5,000 signing bonus came with it. Relieved the nightmare was over, she/he stepped-out onto the deck the following morning to embrace the sunrise and celebrate a brand new life. But shock and disappointment were the greeters, as the anticipated feeling just wasn’t there.
“I’ve wallowed through a sewer for this moment – why am I feeling flat as a pancake?”
This is a dynamic we really need to be aware of and understand. As surprising – yes, shocking – as it may seem; it actually makes perfect sense. But if we aren’t dialed-in to its potential appearance and roots, we’ll prolong a whole lot of unnecessary suffering.
Let’s throw some things on the wall as we discuss why this occurs.
In yesterday’s piece I described someone who had been through two months of pure hell; enduring huge quantities of emotional, mental, and spiritual duress – on top of their traditional constellation of symptoms.
And poured on top was a gallon or two of monumental physical stress – 24/7 pumping of cortisol and adrenaline, poor sleep, lousy eating habits, chain-smoking, substance abuse, and an abandoned exercise regimen.
Dangerous in so many ways, this had become life.
But let me get this right – suddenly the nightmare’s over, and we expect to step-out onto the deck the next morning and embrace the warmest of sunrises? I don’t think so.
Let’s open our minds and hearts here, as we consider what’s really going on…
As awful as it was, we developed a sense of comfort and security in our misery. It became the wallpaper for our self-protective woman/man-cave. So we suddenly move-out and we’re supposed to be equally as comfortable and secure?
For two months all sorts of toxic chemicals, engineered to be there for us should we find ourselves in the headlights of an 18-wheeler, have been floating around our bodies. Where did they go? Likely, nowhere. So their impact upon us has been negated because the nightmare’s over?
I’d even propose there’s a withdrawal factor involved here. We not only relied upon the rush of these toxic chemicals for survival, but we used them as a fix to remedy our unbearable pain and distress.
If you ask me, the expectation of moving-on without batting an eye is akin to feeling suddenly wonderful the day after the funeral of a loved one who suffered horribly from cancer. Yes, the nightmare is over for everyone; however, to expect an absence of negative emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual residual is naive and self-defeating.
If we want to realistically and satisfactorily embrace the sunrise the day after the nightmare ends, we have to focus upon three things…
- Understand and accept the dynamics we just discussed.
- Use our understanding and acceptance as we learn and patiently practice appropriate coping strategies and techniques.
- Practice prevention, using our understanding and acceptance in managing our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical distress while we’re holed-up in our woman/man-caves.
Bottom-line – we’ll once again be alright when our mood, anxiety, or trauma-driven episode ends. And, yes, it will definitely end. Then it’s time to embrace our personal sunrise, with a smidge of realism and finesse.
image credit kokopelliinn.net