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Tired. A matter of acquiescence or despair.

“Tired.” Just pause for a moment and ponder the word. Actually, it’s a very deep state of mind and heart, isn’t it? I mean, we all know what it’s like to be tired and ready for bed after a long day. However, I’m presenting the word within the context of being emotionally, mentally, and physically overwhelmed and without direction.

Have you been there?

So often a client has repeated the words, “I’m just so tired,” in the midst of a visceral cry. And just as frequently a torrential cry begins when I suggest in an empathic tone, “You’re tired, aren’t you.” In fact, knowing the power of the word, I’ve used it to generate a cathartic cry when I sensed a client was ready to let go.

This concept of  “tired” is nothing new, going back centuries. Now, I’m not a Christian, but these words from Jesus Christ out of the book of Matthew have always moved me. And I’m sure it’s because I’ve been more than sufficiently weary to deeply feel their comfort.

Come to Me, all who are weak and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

I want to share something very personal. I assessed a patient on the intensive care unit several days ago. She was admitted the day before through the E.R. after a suicide attempt, which left her unresponsive, intubated, and all too close to death. Here’s a portion of the letter she left at the scene.

I just have one question. Why is life so hard? Why must we hurt so much? If I should leave this world today it wouldn’t be too fast or soon enough. I’m tired of all the pain I cause others, and all that is thrown my way. I’m just tired of trying to please others. My life has been nothing but heartache, sacrifice for others, and then getting slapped in the face. I won’t miss any of that crap and I’ll no longer have to ask anyone for anything. In other words I’ll want no more, I’ll hurt no more, I’ll cry no more! Doesn’t that sound like the vacation of a lifetime? Really though, I’m just fed up, tired and I just want relief. That’s all I’m asking for; the pain, hurt, suffering to stop; go away or end. Hell even a dog gets tired as well as anything or anyone. I’m stressed daily, yeah I’m a strong woman, yet still I’m human.

Let me ask you a question. Do you get a lump in your throat when you consider the word “tired?” What if someone close to you took your hand and observed in a gentle tone, “You’re just so tired, aren’t you?” Would you open up like a rain cloud?

Hmmm. Tired. The gateway to a healthy acquiescence or the depths of despair. How is it with your life?