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11 things to consider when you can’t get what you want

can’t get what i want

Most of us are long past believing we’ll always get what we want. But that doesn’t necessarily make the disappointment of “no” any easier to handle. What to do when we’re denied? Let’s talk it over…

You don’t believe you truly deserve to have it and/or think you’re incapable of claiming it.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards presented this wise observation in their 1969 classic, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

You can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need.

Now, I don’t know what was on the boys’ minds when they wrote the song, but it really doesn’t matter. For my money they offered one of life’s great truths. And it’s my opinion that any mood and/or anxiety disorder sufferer ought to consider accepting it.

So, then, here we are – enduring various degrees of you name it: depression, anxiety, mania, obsessions/compulsions, trauma, compulsivity, stress. And on top of it all we’ve been struggling with a deadly pandemic, as well as a massive act of social injustice with devastating fallout.

I’d say there are billions of heartfelt “wants” flying around out there. But as life would have it, there are just about as many disappointments.

There has to be a way to enhance the chances of success for our legitimate petitions. And there has to be an avenue to perspective when we’re turned-away.

And so, the list…

11 things to consider when you can’t get what you want

why can't i get what i want

“Seriously? It still won’t go down the way I want it to. Really?”

Before we get after it, I want to share a funny story. It was 1984 and I was sitting at an AA table. I had put a cork in the bottle only six weeks earlier, so I was, shall we say, raw.

Well, it was my turn to share and I said I was ticked-off about not being able to do some of the things I really wanted to do. When I finished my tirade the surly program vet to my left elbowed me in the arm and signaled me to come close. I did and she calmly whispered, “Tough sh**, you can’t.”

Lesson learned.

Okay, so let’s get after our list of 11 things to consider when you can’t get what you want. And keep in mind, some of the suggestions assume a spiritual take on self and life…

  1. Your planning and preparation aren’t up to snuff. Get busy.
  2. You planned and prepared well, but your strategy is off. Try another angle.
  3. You planned and prepared well, but you aren’t trying hard enough. Perhaps you believe you’re entitled.
  4. You don’t believe you truly deserve to have it and/or think you’re incapable of claiming it.
  5. It isn’t good for you, so you aren’t supposed to have it.
  6. The timing isn’t right. “Not yet, but don’t give up.”
  7. Something more suitable – even better – is coming your way.
  8. You already have it, but don’t recognize it. Take a look around.
  9. Oops, someone else is the rightful owner.
  10. At this point in time you can’t handle having it.
  11. You can’t have it and that’s just the way it goes. Time to move-on. (Reference my AA story.)

Sure, we know there are plenty more where these came from. Yet it was these 11 that hit me first and hardest.

Whatcha’ think?

Give it another go

Of course my priority will always be those enduring mood and/or anxiety disorders. But no matter one’s circumstances, these are intensely longing and “I want” times. That’s so understood.

How well we know that disappointment follows many of our petitions. However, it’s up to us to look beyond the immediate barrier and re-evaluate – reformulate…

But it won’t mean a hang-dang if we aren’t willing to give it another go.

Hey, if you’re looking for some relaxing and meaningful reading, my eBook is just the ticket: Feelings & Rhymes Through Treacherous Times.

And let’s not forget about those hundreds of Chipur articles.