Being a kid these days: so much complex stimuli hitting right between the eyes – during a time of learning, growth, and innocence. Is it as trying as it seems? I would think so, but I’m not a kid. So you know what? I took it up with my granddaughter…
They look pretty sweet, don’t they. Seems they haven’t a care in the world. Makes me wonder if they’re actually having a rough go beneath the smiles, bright clothes, and togetherness. But I guess that’s my issue, not theirs. Still, wouldn’t you like to know – for sure?
I live with my nine-year-old granddaughter and five-year-old grandson. It’s interesting to observe how their world impacts them. Of course, how they manage the COVID-19 goings-on is of great concern. Along with their mother, they’ve been through a lot.
As I interact with, and think about, them, I have to be careful not to project my perceptions of the world onto them. I mean, just because I view the world as – at times – perplexing, frustrating, and crazy, doesn’t mean they do.
Interview with my granddaughter
Okay, so what’s it like being a kid these days? I really wanted to know. So I went to the source and conducted an off-the-cuff interview with my nine-year-old granddaughter. We had a great chat and covered quite a bit of ground. And, best of all, we enjoyed it.
I’m happy to share it with you…
What do you think of the world you live in? I think it‘s a good place to be. I wish people wouldn’t throw garbage everywhere because it makes the world trashy.
What would you change about the world? I would build more houses for the homeless people because they don’t have anything.
What do you think of people? I think most people are nice, but some people are rude. When they see bad stuff on TV they want to turn bad.
How do people need to change? They can be nicer and they can change how they live if they’re not healthy.
What do you think the world will be like when you’re a grown-up? I think it will be the same, but we’ll have self-driving cars.
How do you feel about COVID-19? It scares me because sometimes I think I have it when I’m sick. But mommy says I won’t get it because I’m healthy. I wish it would go away and never come back ever again because some people got really sick and lost their money and died.
“I want to be a superhero and a teacher.”
How did you feel about remote learning last school year? It was kind of tough at first, but it got a little bit easier when I learned how to do it. Distractions made it hard to hear my teacher, especially when my headphones broke.
Would you rather remote learn or actually go to school? Go to school because it was hard for me to hear my teacher with remote learning. I like going to school because I like bringing my own lunch and eating in the cafeteria. I like taking my tests in my classroom because it’s quieter. I like talking with my friends in person.
Are mental illnesses real? Yes. People get them because they’re stressed or angry and they can hurt themselves if they don’t talk about it.
What do you think of the internet? It can be bad because people can hack you.
Should you have a cellphone? No, because I’m too young. I could do something I’m not supposed to on accident and someone could do something really bad.
What do you think of having lots of money? I would never want to be rich because I wouldn’t be happy.
What is love and is it important? Love is kindness that spreads. It’s special. It’s a feeling that people get when they look at people they care about.
What would you like people to think about you? That I’m nice, caring, helpful, kind, smart, and sweet.
What is the one thing you couldn’t live without? My family.
If you could be anything, what would it be? I want to be a superhero and a teacher
So what do you think? Out of the mouths of babes, right?
As her grandfather, I found it refreshing. Really, I was surprised how chill she was about the state of her world, especially the virus. And I have to tell you that her nonverbals portrayed the same sort of calm. She was aware, confident, and matter-of-fact.
Hmm, looks like I was wise to set my thoughts and feelings aside and go to the source.
The kids are good
Being a kid these days: so much going-on during a tender time. I’ve given you a taste of what it’s really like, at least according to my granddaughter.
But see what you can learn on your own. If you can, reach-out to a child and just chat. Catch the view from their side of the fence. You’ll both be better for it.
The Delta variant, renewed mask mandates, possible lockdowns, vaccination controversy, political fighting: it’s disheartening for anyone, but it can be devastating for those enduring a mood or anxiety disorder. Our friend above is thinking, “Is it ever going to end?” Hmm, how ’bout some thoughts and suggestions…
She looks frightened, suspicious, sad, frustrated, and angry. Don’t you think? She thought the virus hubbub was in the rear-view mirror. Reality has tanked her mood and her anxiety is through the roof. She needs some encouragement and hope.
COVID-19: A disappointing wave
Well, you’d have to be living under a rock to be unaware that we’ve been hit with a wave – resurgence – of COVID-19. Seems the Delta variant, mediocre vaccination participation, and summer activities have caught up with us, and life-living routines are reverting to times we’d prefer to forget.
You know, I posted my first COVID-19 piece on March 20, 2020, and the last one on September the 8th. And, go figure, here I am writing about it again – almost eleven months later.
Sure, it’s all disappointing, but really not unexpected. And it’s certainly not a hopeless set of circumstances.
Consider the Spanish flu (H1N1 influenza A virus), which infected 500 million people worldwide some one hundred years ago. The pandemic lasted from February 1918 to April 1920. And the interesting thing is, it hit in four successive waves.
Now, I’m not an infectious disease expert, and I’m not trying to make nonsense comparisons between the Spanish flu and COVID-19 (SARS-CoV-2 virus). I’m simply trying to temper current expectations by pointing-out that the Spanish flu lasted two years and came in waves.
I find great value in history, and it can be comforting.
COVID-19: Riding out the wave
“Surf’s up! I’m riding this baby to the end.”
No doubt, this wave of COVID-19, and its impact upon how we live our lives, can be upsetting for anyone. But from clinical and personal experience I know such perceived catastrophes can be especially disturbing for those enduring mood and anxiety disorders. It’s just the way we’re wired.
So if you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, chronic stress, etc., and you’re finding this COVID-19 resurgence hard to handle, here are several suggestions you may find helpful. See what you think…
Understand the nature of your disorder and how it presents in times of high stress and fear. You know how you think, feel, and behave. And you know what to challenge when it comes to your interpretations and reactions.
Monitor your expectations. Are they accurate? Do they need to change? Mistakes here can generate all sorts of unnecessary disappointment.
Go easy on media. Yes, you want to check-in often enough to stay informed, but don’t overdo it. The media can gum-up anyone’s head.
Stay within your comfort zone when it comes to protective measures. Certainly, pay heed to local, state, and federal mandates; however, aside from that – do your thing.
You knew I’d mention vaccination, didn’t you? I’m not going to make a recommendation – that’s your business. But I am going to suggest a fresh consideration of available facts, as well as an updated decision, if you haven’t been vaccinated.
Think back to when the virus first hit. It was a mega-scary time. I mean, no one knew much of anything about COVID-19 and what to do about it. And no one really knew how it would ultimately impact the flow of life. But you know what? You survived, as you will this go-round.
Life goes on
This wave – resurgence – of COVID-19, and its life-routine interruptions, are a punch in the gut for anyone. However, we do mood and anxiety disorders here, and I know that punch is a lot more painful for those who frequent Chipur.
I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit over the past few weeks and wanted to send out this message of encouragement and hope. I really do understand.
So then, we’ll ride this wave out and joyfully anticipate the lasting end of COVID-19s crippling impact on our lives.
One more smidgen of stimuli and you’ll blow. To keep it from happening you’re staying away from people – life. But you hate doing that. Listen, irritability can be more than just a grouchy mood. Here’s what to understand and how to manage…
Looks like our friend above is having a go with irritability. Maybe he just got up on the wrong side of the bed. Perhaps he has generalized anxiety disorder. Who knows? I just hope he’ll be proactive in managing it.
Irritability is no fun – for the “irritabilitee” and those around her/him. In addition to being something anyone may experience, irritability is a symptom of numerous emotional/mental and physical disorders. To name a few: generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, low blood sugar, and PMS.
All things considered, I think irritability merits a chat.
What is irritability?
No doubt, you have a handle on what irritability is; however, let’s go ahead and look at a formal definition. I like this one from Psychology Wiki…
“An excessive response to stimuli. It may be viewed as both an emotional state and a personality trait. The term irritability is both used for the physiological reaction to stimuli and for the psychological, abnormal or excessive sensitivity to stimuli. Irritability may manifest in behavioural responses to both physiological as well as behavioural stimuli – the latter including areas of environmental, situational, sociological, and emotional stimulus.”
As though irritability isn’t enough, frequently accompanying it are concentration issues or confusion, rapid heartbeat, excessive sweating, and fast or shallow breathing. That makes sense, given irritability often triggers our fight/flight response.
Let’s keep in mind that irritability can be a cycling disaster. I don’t have to tell you that when we’re irritable, the little things bother us more. And the resulting tension and unrest can make us even more sensitive, turning little things into big things. So irritability intensifies and the cycling begins.
It’s important to point out that irritability presents in a variety of ways. When I’m irritable, I tend to isolate – not wanting to subject myself to unwanted stimuli. An even bigger sign is a gnawing feeling of anxiety and unsettledness. It took me a while to connect the dots on that one, but I know my read is correct.
What causes irritability?
“I’m irritable. And I bite.”
In reviewing the causes of irritability, let’s begin with some neurophysiology. I mean, for irritability to present, something has to be happening in the brain, right?
For chronic cases of irritability that have no known cause, studies have pointed a finger at these major brain neural systems: prefrontal areas that drive inhibitory control and emotional regulation, areas of the cortex and below that manage reward processing as it applies to frustrating stimuli, and regions of the cortex and below involved with threat and arousal processing, particularly when it comes to social fairness or social threat.
Now, any of us can become irritable most any time. That’s just part of being human. But if we become extremely irritable, or experience irritability for extended periods of time, we may be dealing with underlying emotional/mental and/or physical situations that may require attention.
Substance use disorders (including caffeine and nicotine)
As with any condition we discuss, identifying the cause – triggers – of our irritability is crucial in securing relief.
How is irritability treated?
When it comes to treating troubling irritability, again, understanding its cause is crucial. If one is experiencing irritability and has been diagnosed with any of the above, it makes sense that treating the malady will likely bring relief. So treatment is driven by the underlying cause.
Managing lifestyle habits is huge when it comes to dealing with irritability. You know the biggies: sleep, exercise, stress, diet, meditation, breathing techniques, and more. Journaling and mood tracking are also helpful.
I came across an excellent article on Psychology Today that’s a great fit here. 7 Quick Ways to Stop Being Irritable, by Guy Winch, PhD, offers some great insight and advice. Here’s a summary of his “7 Quick Ways”…
Figure out the source: And address it.
Reduce caffeine and alcohol
It’s often the little things: Just because they “shouldn’t” doesn’t mean they don’t. Even acknowledging irritability often takes the edge off.
Get in touch with your compassion: To yourself first, then others you may be impacting.
Gain perspective: Think about what’s going well, and things for which you can be grateful.
Rid yourself of nervous energy: In the irritable immediate, consider a quick walk or run. Maybe some push-ups or crunches. Become as physical as you’re able.
Get quiet or alone time: Take a break and think things through. Listen to music, meditate, do some yoga, etc.
Keep moving forward
Irritability is a fact of life – we’re human. But when it becomes intense, or sticks around for extended periods of time, we need to self-examine and get some help. It’s only fair to ourselves and those around us.
So, being irritable because you got up on the wrong side of the bed or because you have an emotional/mental or physical disorder: now you’ve added knowledge to aid in management.
Our senses are miraculous. Touch, sight, hearing, smell, taste: they’re wonders, individually and when working together. We’re going to discuss the sense that I believe doesn’t get its due. Let’s learn about the stunning power of smell…
Looks like Layla, above, is loving the stunning power of smell. But here’s a story about a time I didn’t think very highly of it…
Ether, which smells beyond horrible, was a commonly used anesthetic decades ago. It knocked me out during a medical and dental procedure as a kid. I get the creeps even writing about it.
Anyway, some years ago I was walking through a parking lot and out of nowhere the smell of ether hit me. I flipped into an immediate panic and had to know where the smell was coming from – now. Then I could run. Turns out ether is an ingredient in engine starting fluid. And there it was, a car with its hood up, the owner spraying away. Now, I hadn’t smelled ether in probably 40 years at the time. But, bam!
Now, that’s stunning power.
As I was browsing the net for post ideas, an article socked me right on the nose. “Why odors trigger powerful memories,” written by Marla Paul, appears on Northwestern University’s news site, Northwestern Now. The article summarizes a new Northwestern Medicine research paper that was published in the journal, Progress in Neurobiology. The work focuses upon identifying a neural basis for how the brain enables odors to bring forth powerful memories.
I found the information fascinating and want to share it with you…
The connection between smell and memory
The research submits there’s a neurobiological basis for exclusive access by olfaction (the sense of smell) to memory areas in the brain. Specifically mentioned is the hippocampus. Located deep within the brain, and part of the limbic system, the hippocampus (we have two, actually) is involved in the long-term storage of memory. Of note is its role in declarative memory – memory involving things that can be purposely recalled, such as facts and events.
The study compares connections between visual, auditory, touch, and smell sensory areas of the brain and the hippocampus. And it’s interesting that olfaction has the strongest connectivity. The paper refers to it as a “superhighway.”
Does that surprise you?
Here’s the scoop from lead researcher Dr. Christina Zelano…
Long-term storage of memory
“During evolution, humans experienced a profound expansion of the neocortex that re-organized access to memory networks. Vision, hearing and touch all re-routed in the brain as the neocortex expanded, connecting with the hippocampus through an intermediary — association cortex — rather than directly. Our data suggests olfaction did not undergo this re-routing, and instead retained direct access to the hippocampus.”
Sidebar: ponder why that is. I mean, why the “superhighway?”
The workings of olfaction are important in and of themselves. However, with COVID-19 on the scene, they become a priority. Dr. Zelano points-out that with COVID-19, smell loss has become epidemic. So understanding the manner in which odors impact our brains – memories, cognition, and more – is huge. Yes, how can we develop treatments if we don’t know what’s going on?
Let’s move on to a quick Q & A Northwestern Now conducted with Dr. Zelano. I think you’ll find it read-worthy…
Why do smells evoke such vivid memories?
“This has been an enduring mystery of human experience. Nearly everyone has been transported by a whiff of an odor to another time and place, an experience that sights or sounds rarely evoke. Yet, we haven’t known why. The study found the olfactory parts of the brain connect more strongly to the memory parts than other senses. This is a major piece of the puzzle, a striking finding in humans. We believe our results will help future research solve this mystery.”
How does smell research relate to COVID-19?
“The COVID-19 epidemic has brought a renewed focus and urgency to olfactory research. While our study doesn’t address COVID smell loss directly, it does speak to an important aspect of why olfaction is important to our lives: smells are a profound part of memory, and odors connect us to especially important memories in our lives, often connected to loved ones. The smell of fresh chopped parsley may evoke a grandmother’s cooking, or a whiff of a cigar may evoke a grandfather’s presence. Odors connect us to important memories that transport us back to the presence of those people.”
What is the goal of this study?
“Loss of the sense of smell is underestimated in its impact. It has profound negative effects on quality of life, and many people underestimate that until they experience it. Smell loss is highly correlated with depression and poor quality of life.”
“Most people who lose their smell to COVID regain it, but the time frame varies widely, and some have had what appears to be permanent loss. Understanding smell loss, in turn, requires research into the basic neural operations of this under-studied sensory system.”
“Research like ours moves understanding of the olfactory parts of the brain forward, with the goal of providing the foundation for translational work on, ultimately, interventions.”
That’s a wrap
Don’t know about you, but I love learning about how the brain works. And even though I knew what was going on during my scary ether reintroduction, it’s cool to read about current research that connects familiar dots.
The stunning power of smell. Just one more sensual miracle.
Living with emotional/mental disease can be isolating and lonely business. But stigma is a take no prisoners brute. And the only way it goes down is if we challenge it together. Are you in?
As long as we’re together, let’s move beyond stigma and chat about identity and hope. How are you feeling these days?
Look at our group above. My guess is half of those stigma fighters are managing emotional/mental disease. And I’m thinking the other half have joined the just cause. As hurting and angry as any of them may be, they’re smiling. Yeah, they’re happy to be together – to be involved.
The truth about stigma
Perhaps like you, I live with disease that affects how I receive, interpret, and react to my world – myself. Instead of using the stigma-perpetuating term “mental illness,” I’ve come up with emotional/mental disease (EMD). And that’s no different than having, say, heart or kidney disease. After all, we have but one body, without above or below the neck distinction.
Time was, going public with EMD would just about end whatever hope we had of living a judgment-free and peaceful life. Others knowing our circumstances would only exacerbate the problems we were already trying to manage.
Fortunately, things are a little better here in the early 21st century; however, society still has a long way to go regarding its perception and treatment of those living with EMD.
As prevalent as EMD is, many enduring it don’t seek treatment. And that’s because of roadblocks such as lack of education and personal insight, inadequate or non-existent health insurance, and, of course, stigma.
Something is very wrong with this picture.
If you’re struggling with EMD, I encourage you to hold your head high. You have nothing about which to be ashamed or embarrassed. Indeed, your self-candor and courage are admirable.
Please join me in declaring it’s okay to have EMD. Because the only way society is going to completely embrace us is if we step forward together and demand to be counted – and respected.
As far as we’ve come, a shiny badge of disgrace continues to be pinned upon many living with EMD. As a result, we’re too often improperly scrutinized and unfairly treated at the workplace and school, regarding insurance, and in other essential arenas of life functioning. Yes, stigma is still alive and well.
This has to change.
I have emotional/mental disease. And my circumstances deserve the same respect, freedom from judgment, and treatment opportunities afforded other health situations.
Let’s challenge stigma together.
Identity and hope
“Man, I don’t know anything anymore.”
As long as we’re together, let’s move beyond stigma and chat about identity and hope.
How are you feeling these days? Not so hot? Or maybe things are so overwhelming you just don’t know.
Do any of these hit home? Desperate, hopeless, helpless, frustrated, lonely, out-of-control, crazy, stuck, lost, angry, numb, scared, worthless, disgusted, dead.
Life with EMD can be brutal, right?
Ya’ gotta’ know I didn’t come by any of the above from a textbook or by listening to war stories. I’ve experienced all of them…
Thought ’em…felt ‘em…got blue over ‘em…got manic over ‘em…cried over ‘em…laughed over ‘em…drank over ‘em…fretted over ‘em…raged over ‘em…guilted over ‘em…obsessed over ‘em…got compulsive over ‘em…panicked over ‘em…you name it over ‘em.
That’s right, having EMD most all of my life, I’ve been exactly where you are. Yep, I’ve been in the trenches and know what, and how, you’re feeling.
And I’m here to tell you a peaceful and fulfilling life is yours for the taking.
That may be tough to believe in the moment. But that’s okay, just keep an open mind.
Actually, all I want you to do right now is pause. Now, take a couple of relaxing breaths and bask in the warmth of hope, knowing that someone who’s suffered at least as much as you is living a productive and calm life. And he’s been doing it for many moons.
The same is waiting for you.
See, when you come to know others are experiencing the same pain, suffering, distorted thoughts, and distressing feelings as you, relief begins. I mean, it removes the mystery from what you’re experiencing and helps you realize you’re not some sort of hopeless, worthless psycho-freak.
Do you feel that way about yourself?
I did at one time. But always remember that when you come to know others have experienced your misery, hope begins to become a part of your life. And when it sinks in that others have conquered their misery, hope transitions to “So can I” thinking.
Identity and hope: a worthwhile chat, don’t you think?
We’re not alone
Stigma is a take no prisoners brute. It’s directly impacted me numerous times over the years. And I’ll bet it’s slapped you as well. Together, let’s challenge it and put it down.
As for our identity and hope chat, well, it means everything to anyone enduring emotional/mental disease.
And that’s because it tells us we’re not alone, and we can get better.
It’s hard. And you’re tired. Living with a mood or anxiety disorder can envelop you in bitter cold and darkness. Are you afraid you’ll never again be warm, nor see the light of day? Take heart, here are 11 gems of perspective and hope…
As much as you hate what’s going on, and it frightens you, it has a purpose. And it’s up to you to find it…
Life is particularly challenging these days, isn’t it? Let’s see, the winter blues, COVID-19, weather-related disasters, and our personal disappointments and annoyances.
I imagine most everyone feels the strain. But for many who are already doing all they can to manage a mood or anxiety disorder, it’s crisis time.
You can do it
Perhaps like you, I’ve experienced moments of massive despair. Times when I felt as though I was fragmenting into so many tiny pieces. Worse yet, having no clue as to where the will and strength to move forward would come from.
I was on the mat and the count had hit nine. There were days I could barely see through the darkness of derealization, depersonalization, teeth-grinding anxiety, snake’s belly mood, alcohol, and all but lost hope.
Well, I’ve always pulled myself up before the count of 10. And I say it time and again, if I can do it, there’s no reason in the world you can’t. If you think that isn’t true, hit the contact link above and state your case.
11 gems of perspective and hope
“Never easy, but always worth it.”
You know, when I present such gems to you, I don’t take it lightly. I really do spend a ton of time putting them together. And even when I think I’ve gotten things just right, I continue to review and edit as needed.
And keep in mind, what you’re about to read comes from two personal points of view: a decades long manager of my own mood and anxiety disorders and a mental health professional. And I pay just as much heed to what I write as I hope you will.
If you’re in crisis mode and believe your mood or anxiety disorder has permanently nailed you this time around, here are 11 gems of perspective and hope…
You are a human being, and by design you’re not intended to be miserable. You may not be cured, but you’ll recover.
Your circumstances have to be the result of specific physical phenomena and life events. You can manage the fallout. Your situation, then, is not hopeless.
Keep moving forward, even if it’s an inch at a time.
A brain that’s wired differently doesn’t equate to anatomical or physiological disasters.
Catch a chuckle or two as often as possible. Even laugh at yourself. After all, some of the things we think and do are pretty funny.
As much as you hate what’s going on, and it frightens you, it has a purpose. And it’s up to you to find it. If you can’t just now, finding it down the road is all the more reason to carry-on.
So many of the things you believe are happening to you are based in catastrophizing.
You were feeling just fine at one point in your life. But things evolve and change for reasons only you can determine and understand. Make it your business to do so.
Don’t long to be the way you used to be. Why search for the living among the dead?
Accept your circumstances, unavoidable suffering, and recovery potential. Be okay with never being symptom-free, always having your defaults and leanings. Don’t strive for cessation. Learn to manage them after the fact.
Hope and forward motion may not seem like much to go on; however, at times they may be all you have. Make them count.
Back in the days when I was wide-eyed lost and knew next to nothing about what was going on, I’d have given anything to read those gems.
No doubts
I know it’s hard living with a mood or anxiety disorder. And I know you’re tired. But if you’re in the midst of bitter cold and darkness, don’t ever think you’ll never emerge.
Turn to these 11 gems of perspective and hope whenever you’re in need. Always keep in mind that I wrote them because I get it. Don’t doubt them.
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