The holiday season has arrived. In recognition, I thought about posting a serious article. Nah, just couldn’t do it. That said, whether you’re shouting out with glee or slumped in stunned silence, survival skills – and humor – always come in handy this time of year. So how ’bout these 12 ludicrous tips…
Tell the kids to knock themselves out with their Dear Santa letters. When you come up short…
I tried, I honestly tried to bring you that sort of message this go-round, but it wasn’t happening. Humor kept gnawing at me as I wrote, so I finally gave in. And you know what? It’s a great way to go, given the all too serious and stressful happenings of the past year.
‘Nuff said…
12 ludicrous tips for survival
“This Chipur guy – he’s such a kook.”
Once I decided to go the humor route, I got a bit edgy. I mean, what if this is a tough room? Heck, what if I bomb?
I was comforted by knowing there wouldn’t be any hecklers to deal with – at least none that can get at me. And then it sunk in that it’s my blog, so I can do whatever I want. Right?
Okay, okay – here we go…
- Go ahead and invite family and friends over for a holiday dinner. They’ll be bewildered because you’ll have prepared absolutely nothing. But you’ll save the day by sending a group text with a link to the DoorDash site. If you’re feeling especially generous, let them use your app – after they hand you their credit card.
- If you absolutely have to prepare a holiday feast, stock-up on frozen dinners (Stouffer’s are pretty yummy). Nuke ’em, plate ’em, and take the credit.
- If you get a holiday dinner invite, grab that DoorDash app and order up. That way you don’t have to give fake compliments or feel responsible for helping with clean-up.
- Wanna’ isolate? Instead of boughs of holly, deck your halls with Halloween stuff. Anyone who drops in will think you’re nuts or evil – and leave. Word will get out and no one will ever want to stop by.
- Maybe you’re a little lonely. Wear a mistletoe hat wherever you go, pucker-up, wink a lot, and keep your fingers crossed.
- You’re conflicted over doing the gift thing on each night of Hanukkah or only on the eighth. Check with your rabbi. Heck, ask if he’ll contribute.
- Tradition bores you. So hang underwear instead of stockings. Santa will be a little frustrated because everything will drop to the floor. But don’t worry, he’ll appreciate the creativity and humor.
- Why go with twelve days of Christmas when you can save a lot of emotional stress and dough by getting it over with in one.
- You know Aunt Harriet will drop off a fruitcake. You also know your daughter needs to gift her piano teacher.
- Tell the kids to knock themselves out with their Dear Santa letters. When you come up short, you can blame the supply chain shortage.
- Christmas trees can become so same old, same old. You know that mannequin you snagged at the garage sale last year? Lights, ornaments, tape a star on top – use your imagination.
- You’re ready to work on your list of new year’s resolutions, but you have no idea what to include. Let’s see, lose twenty-five pounds? No. Quit smoking? No. Pay off the credit cards? Heck no. Spend more time with family? You must be kidding. Stop it, stop it right now? Yes.
Did you hear the rimshots? Catcalls?
Thank you, thank you very much
What better gift could I give you than a few chuckles? Actually, I gifted myself as well.
Hey, as this holiday season gets rolling – whether you’re shouting out with glee or slumped in stunned silence – just do the best you can. And always remember to stay true to yourself, not expectation.
Wishing you peace throughout the holiday season…
If you’re looking for some serious mood and anxiety disorder-related information, your search is over. Just review the Chipur titles.
