FEELINGS & RHYMES THROUGH TREACHEROUS TIMES: Check-out my new eBook of poetry and commentary. Link above and in sidebar.

Me, Myself, and I: How to Become Darned Good Company

i get lonely at home

So many coronies flyin’ around – so much distance, isolation, and idle time. Ticktock, ticktock. Being alone may have already been troublesome for you. But now this? What are you going to do with yourself?

Yep, perhaps you just don’t like yourself, or selected portions. And now that you’re alone, and diversion-limited, you find yourself smack-dab in the middle of your worst nightmare. You!

Would you roll your eyes and shout “Duh!” if I suggested these are terribly difficult times? Go ahead and get it out of your system. I deserve it.

One of the things that makes the pandemic response so difficult to take is the “it’s just me” factor. And I think those enduring mood and anxiety disorders are especially sensitive to it. By the way, don’t think you have to live alone to fall prey.

To make clear exactly where we’re going here, I’ll pose two questions…

  1. Do you struggle with being alone?
  2. Do you consider yourself good company?

Let those sink-in for a minute or two, because we’re going to address both. And, of course, one has much to do with the other.

All set?

Do You Struggle with Being Alone?

Even before the pandemic hit, I suspect you knew how you felt about being alone. So, then, do you struggle with it? If so, what’s it about?

I mean, it could be rooted in abandonment or rejection trauma. Or maybe there’s a deep-seated fear that you can’t cope, or care for yourself, when alone. You may think you’ll fragment to some degree and all will come crashing-down in and around you. But you’re probably fully aware it’s never happened – and never will. Dang, those cognitive distortions.

Another angle may be you just don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s possible, I suppose, that you’re easily bored. And being holed-up in the house, you’ve run out of mind-engaging material.

But maybe what’s really going-on is you don’t think you’re especially good company. Certainly that can feed into the boredom issue, but I’ll bet it runs deeper than that.

Yep, perhaps you just don’t like yourself, or selected portions. And now that you’re alone, and diversion-limited, you find yourself smack-dab in the middle of your worst nightmare. You!

Heck, what it must feel like to be locked-down with the very person you can’t stand the most. That would sure make for some unpleasant company.

Do You Consider Yourself Good Company?

how to like yourselfLet’s work a little bit with the can of worms we just opened. In doing so, I’m going to assume that, in fact, you don’t consider yourself good company. Play along here, although you may not have to act.

Would you agree with the following? If one doesn’t consider themselves to be good company, it’s either because they never learned how to do “it’s just me” or they simply don’t like themselves. 

What else could it be? But the bigger question is, what can we do about it?

How to Become Darned Good Company

The good news is this “it’s just me” and not-so-hot company business can be remedied.

I’ve said this numerous times here on Chipur since the pandemic restrictions began rocking our worlds. There is no better time than now – in the midst of the most trying circumstances – to inquire and learn about ourselves, and devise and implement change and growth strategies.

It’s opportunity time.

As it applies here, the first thing I want you to do is decide if your dilemma is caused by not knowing how to do “it’s just me” or you simply don’t like yourself. If you believe it’s both, choose the one that’s primary for your work.

Now, what you just did is tremendously important. Gaining insight into the foundation of an emotional or mental situation goes a long way toward its resolution.

So let’s say you chose not knowing how to do “it’s just me.” What better time than now to come up with remedies? Jot down notes on the things that make you so uncomfortable when you’re alone. Think about how you acquired each. If you successfully dealt with one or more in the past, how did you do it? Now choose a couple and get to work on the untangling.

But what if you chose not liking yourself? Seriously, it doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to get yourself through this. Start with a list of the things that supposedly make you so bad, and such lousy company. Again, make notes on how you acquired each. And deeply consider if they’re valid, beyond any agenda you may have. Yes, we do that. Then it’s time to go to work on untying the knots.

Hey, I know some of the conflicts you may be dealing with are complicated. And they may require deeper interventions than what I detailed. Still, you can get started right-away, and you may just be surprised by the results.

Try it.

Let’s Get After It

You know, we can sit here and discuss the dilemma ’til the cows come home. But that isn’t going to make us feel any better.

Here’s the deal: we’re stuck with this pandemic craziness for a while. And that means we’re going to have to cope with varying degrees of distance, isolation, and idle time. No doubt, things we find troublesome.

Guess what? We’re going to have to come to grips with ourselves.

Look, whether it’s because we don’t do “it’s just me” well or don’t like ourselves, we need to find ways to make me, myself, and I darned good company. And if we pull it off, that means we’ve taken something lastingly positive from these immediately terrible times.

And I say that makes it worth it.

By the way, are you looking for some enjoyable and meaningful reading to curl-up with? Consider my eBook, Feelings & Rhymes Through Treacherous Times.

Of course, you can always occupy your mind with hundreds of Chipur mood and anxiety disorder-related articles.