“Hey, Bill, whenever I experience major depressive disorder or panic attack symptoms, all I want to do is head for my comfort place – and that’s H-O-M-E. Don’t much feel safe anywhere else.”
Well, that was pretty straight-forward, huh?! And if I had a buck for every time I heard a client say it, I’d be a wealthy man. Heck, add another buck for the number of times I’ve said it over the many years and I’d be right there with Warren Buffett.
So what about you? Does returning to your comfort place – home (maybe even that bed of yours) – loom large in your thinking throughout any given day? Okay, so maybe that place of comfort and safety is your car or your office. Could well be with a person. But I’m thinkin’ you know what I mean. Right?
Actually, the deep meaning and need of home to we human-types is very real and incredibly important. Here’s Maya Angelou’s take, from All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes…
The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
Yeah, but this home/comfort/safety biz can become a confounding dilemma for those dealing with emotional/mental woes. I mean, here we are “grown-ups,” and we feel icky and out-of-sorts when we’re out and about – and can’t get the notion of racing for home out of our minds.
So just what are we going to do about that?
Hmmm, well I suppose we can approach the issue from a couple of angles. First consideration would be to explore what it is that makes us feel so uncomfy and unsafe out thar’, and through cognitive (behavioral) work learn it’s grounded in misinterpretation and overreaction. And I’ll guarantee that’s double-true. Hey, if you’re working with a counselor, I encourage you to (continue to) go there. Even if you’re flying solo, you can still soar with it.
But what about other options? And that brings us to the point of the piece (peace?)…
Let’s take our time and reason this out a bit (LOL, right?). If accessibility to home – comfort and safety – is such a huge issue for us, what would be the ultimate fix? That’s right, make it mobile – portable – so we can take it with us where’er we go. Just like the R.V. in our featured image. By the way, is it cool, or what? Have always wanted to take a trip cross-country in one of those sons-a-guns. You?
So, how do we set-up mobile “home?” Pretty simple. Take-up roots – establish home – within. Think about it. If our sense of home/comfort/safety thrives in the deepest reaches of our being, wouldn’t that mean we’d have access to it wherev’, whenev’? And if that’s the case, would we ever need to be overly concerned about what might happen when we’re out and about?
Sounds downright sensible to me. And here are the thoughts of a few folks of note who agree…
I believe that one can never leave home. I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears and the dragons of home under one’s skin, at the extreme corners of one’s eyes and possibly in the gristle of the earlobe.
Maya Angelou, from Letter to My Daughter
Home isn’t a place, its a feeling.
Cecelia Ahern, from Love, Rosie
Home. That wonderful place I was lucky enough to revisit no matter how short a time finally realizing it’s not relegated to just one single place its wherever you make it.
Alyson Noel, from Blue Moon
Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.
Japanese poet Matsuo Bashō
Your true home is in the here and the now.
Thích Nhất Hạnh, from Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thích Nhất Hạnh: 365 days of practical, powerful teachings from the beloved Zen teacher
(Notice I didn’t insult you with “Home is where the heart is.”)
Plenty of wisdom floating about, I’d say.
But what do you say? This mobile “home” concept – is it making sense? More importantly, are you motivated to make it work for you?
Here, how ’bout this thought? K, you’re dealing with major depressive disorder or panic attacks symptoms – or, say, adult separation anxiety. If you could handle all of your life business from your home – which would mean taking it with you no matter where you go – what would become of your suffering? I dunno’, I’m thinkin’ it would exponentially decrease.
If you agree, that rather proves the point, doesn’t it?
So the challenge now becomes facilitation. How might you establish “home,” with its comfort and safety, within – being able to have access to it wherev’, whenev’? Think it over, won’t you? And please take the time to record what you come up with in a comment. After all, Chipur is a sharing, learning, and healing kind of thing.
No doubt about it, “home” is a life essential in soooo many ways. It’s just a matter of how it’s defined and experienced.
image credit | experiencelife.lamesarv.com
Maybe it’s time to grab some comfort and safety by perusing some 600 Chipur titles?
Super impressed with Chipur’s new look, fit and finish. Good eye.
And this piece on “home”…very good for me. Many different ways to think/feel about it, but they all lead home.
We are so lucky to have thoughtful people like you, cutting edge scientists of interiority in our midst. This post, a nostalgic and cobweb disintegrating homecoming for me, this morning…this here and now.
Thank you, Bill.
Dr. Bell, I presume. Always a good thing when you’re on board. Thanks for the props on the redesign. Nothing fancy, just content. Few more additions and tweaks, but we’re essentially there. Yeah, man – here and now = home. Wherev’ we are. Thank you for your visit and comment. Peace, bro…
I am with Dr. Herby, the new look is sleek and sweet…but not as nice as HOME. I am a big one for visualization and imagery, so I created a “room” in my heart. This is a large, bright airy kitchen with a giant bay window with a window seat, a lovely kitchen table, a good fire place, a rocking chair and the kitchen is well appointed for baking and cooking because I like to do that. I find the space in my heart a comforting place to go to relax, to soothe myself, to rest when I am distressed. This image has gone a long ways to give me a sense of peace when the world around me does not seem to bring anything but chaos and when my inner world is full of increasing personal angst. It was worth the time to lovingly furnish this area, including the lovely wooden floor with some braided rag rugs. Bill, thank you for the opportunity to share.
Thanks for the kind words re the “new look,” Patricia. Meant to be very simple, easy on the eyes, and content oriented. Funny, Chipur sure is “HOME” to me, all the time I spend keeping it up and running nicely. But sure is a labor of love.
I’m so glad you mentioned “visualization and imagery.” What a great way to be in the midst of home wherev’, whenev’. And your description of your “room” is wonderful, providing a great example for readers to follow. ‘Course, for others it may be a den or other special room or area. No doubt, worth tons of time to furnish your cozy place – and put the strategy together.
Always glad to provide the opportunity to share, Patricia. And thank you for visiting and commenting…
I skimmed your article but I was floored when I saw the picture and the title. NO JOKE! I was just thinking today how awesome it would be to have a motor home or a refurbished van or bus where you could lie down and chill if you were freaking out. Maybe that sounds REALLY stupid, but I got really excited about it. Think about it– you could stock it with all your safe stuff and it would be like a little house. It would be awesome for trips when you get anxious. You could just chill in the back if you needed to. I guess this sounds pretty dumb but I really like this idea. I was sparked on this idea when I saw a refurbished bus and I got to thinking about it. This probably isn’t related at all and I probably look like a goof but I’m still posting!
No goofs here (except moi?)!!!
Okay, so I re-read the article. I have often thought about this myself. I think the reason I can’t find a home within myself is because I am so uncofomfortable with myself. I mean, I really detest myself. By the way, what do you think of hypnosis that uses triggers? I have one that says if you press your thumb and forefinger together you will go to your safeplace. Of course, I realize that takes a lot of work. I used to listen to them while I slept and I think I’ll do that again tonight. Anyway, yeah, making a home in the self. Well, they way I see it, we’re all immortal and so we should build a home in the soul because the soul will last through the fire and the rain, (Channeling James Taylor? LOL!) The problem is that I can read something and say, “YES!!!” but I have no idea how to do it myself. Obviously I need some comfort with myself. The slings and arrows get me down pretty harsh.
Great article! I hadn’t seen Chipur on my newsfeed lately so I jumped on this one.
Hey, Megan. Glad you stopped-by and participated. Appreciate your detailed comment. Yeah, no news feed ’cause didn’t post an article while doing the redesign.
No doubt, feeling safe and secure within will be kind of tough to pull off if one doesn’t like the environment. So one can perhaps do some remodeling work on that mobile “home.” The hypnosis thing? Hey, if it floats your boat, indulge. I won ‘t comment either way. The fact that you’ve gained insight into your need for comfort within is a good sign. Keep working, Megan…
Love the new look of your website, Bill! Very appealing. The analogy of traveling with home always within you is a good one. I feel being centered and having a clear sense of who I am helps me feel at home no matter where I am. Great question, though and I will continue to ponder that one. The comforts of our brick and mortar home are always appealing after being away. Nothing better.
Hey, Cathy. Glad you stopped-by and participated. “Be it ever so humble…” Right? And you recently returning home from a nice trip! Appreciate your visits and comments – always…
Love your new site look, Bill! It took me a whole lot of cognitive behavioral therapy to finally figure out “home” within me – a lot, a lot. But it was so worth it. When I feel anxious, nowadays, I like to go to this favorite open space hike nearby and just wander the trails while I sift and sort until I get settled with “home” – mySELF – again. Something so soothing about nature and quiet… As always, thank you for a thought-provoking post!
…and thank YOU for your thought-provoking comment. You’ve worked hard, Lisa, and it’s paid off. It’s fact that hard and creative work profoundly impacts emotional/mental woes. Period! What you’ve shared will serve as an example to Chipur readers. I appreciate that. Tons of peace, Lisa…
Bill, the new “look” of the website is State of the Art ! !
Hey y’all, I live in an RV…well mine is older than the picture but it’s my “home”. I’ve been traveling all over the country in my job staying in hotels for eons….glamorous you say? Not. All my stuff in storage in Houston….impersonal rooms, OK yeah, there’s room service but… Finally, I decided to buy an RV, I gutted it, re-carpeted, painted, made curtains….decided to throw out anything in storage that wasn’t precious to me…necessary to scale back in an RV but so worth it. I can drive it from job to job, set it up myself (almost) and wherever I go, I’m HOME.
P.S. On the road from job to job, I just pull into a truck stop, park between those huge semis and curl up in my bed……cause I’m already home.
Well, hey, Sue! Appreciate the compliment re the new look. Also appreciate your RV story. Talk about going mobile “home.” Perfect! Please keep coming back, k? Always enjoy your comments…
Major props on the new site look, Bill. Chipur is reinvigorated!
Love the post too . . . and it’s incredibly appropriate for me as we just gave our 30-day notice this morning to vacate our really cool townhouse. Don’t know where we’ll land just yet (still in
Major props on the new site look, Bill. Chipur is reinvigorated!
Love the post too . . . and it’s incredibly appropriate for me as we just gave our 30-day notice this morning to vacate our really cool townhouse. Don’t know where we’ll land just yet (still in the Dallas metro) but I’m thinking a nice treed neighborhood with birds singing and grass growing. Don’t know where our physical home will be just yet but it is so good to know that it’s relatively easy (albeit with tons of packing and moving) to pick-up from one leased property to another. I sold my home a number of years ago and enjoy the notion of “when something breaks, call the man (or woman!)”.
More to the point of heart and home, I completely agree with your notion that when one is settled well within a place of internal peace, home can be anywhere. For me, that requires the inclusion of my #1 love relationship–I still get kinda wonky when I think about living alone, but that’s for another time and another therapy session, right?
By the way, love the quotes, especially Ms. Angelou’s . . . I was in her presence once and I’ve never been the same.
Big Texas hugs to you!
Hey, thank you for those MPs on the site. As I’ve been saying, nothing fancy/jazzy – just clean and content-driven.
Glad you enjoyed the post, Beth. Sounds like it really was time for a change of residence. You seem comfy and at peace with the decision. And it seems as though you’re embracing the adventure of finding new digs. Pretty cool.
Those quotes, huh. I enjoyed pulling them together. I’ve read what others have had to say about being in Ms. Angelou’s presence. Like you, they were changed.
Tossin’ some Michigan hugs back your way. Thank you for your visit and comment…