Catastrophe poses a daily threat. Chest discomfort becomes a heart attack, an engine noise evolves into a $2,000 repair. All the while, depression and anxiety run rampant. Let’s talk about catastrophizing…
What better way to avoid crushing disappointment than to expect – even create – the worst?
It’s crazy, isn’t it? I mean, this catastrophizing business can be torturous. And unless we come to understand what’s really going on – and intervene – it can unnerve us forever. Lots to discuss, so we’ll take care of biz in two parts. First, what catastrophizing is and why we do it. And we’ll get into what to do about it in part two. Off with us…
What is catastrophizing?
Within the realm of cognitive (having to do with mental processes) theory and therapy, catastrophizing is one of the most common cognitive distortions. What are those? Well, they’re exaggerated and often irrational thoughts that hold the power to generate and perpetuate loads of depression and anxiety. Simply, catastrophizing is when we create, well, a catastrophe that simply doesn’t exist or won’t occur. And we may not even be aware we’re doing it. It’s all about “What Ifs?” and worst case scenarios.
Two types of catastrophizing
Okay, there are two types of catastrophizing…
In the immediate: You’re sure your heart palpitations are a symptom of serious heart disease. This morning you heard about a new heart institute at one of the local hospitals. So you hopped on Google, grabbed a diagnosis, and called for a referral.
In the future: Your anxiety and associated depression have been intense. And, go figure, you’re out of work and interviewing. Two weeks ago you barely survived (so you think) a biggie. Lo and behold, the recruiter just called and you scheduled a second interview for next week. You’re sure you’ll royally blow that one, too.
That’s catastrophizing. Now, it’s really important to understand that catastrophizing isn’t a disorder. Being a cognitive distortion, it’s a manifestation – symptom – of our mood or anxiety pathology.
Why do I catastrophize?
Who really knows why the mind does what it does. But when it comes to catastrophizing, I’ll go with P.E.A.C.E.…
Protection: If we believe danger lurks around every corner, catastrophizing makes perfect sense. What better form of protection than believing in horrific outcomes? And what better way to justify avoidance?
Explanation: Explanations are huge during times of pain. So maybe the self-created catastrophe isn’t the most desirable outcome. But it sure beats being clueless as to what’s behind our desperation and distress.
Assurance: As unpleasant as it is, catastrophizing provides a certainty of mind. And when any sense of self is tough to come by, created catastrophes can provide identity.
Cry for help: When was the last time you witnessed, or read about, a true catastrophe that someone wasn’t crying out for help? Self-created catastrophes can provide the perfect setting for doing some crying out of our own. And if we’re (un)lucky, a responder may even be willing to stick around and lend a hand..
Expectation: What better way to avoid crushing disappointment than to expect – even create – the worst?
When we consider P.E.A.C.E., it’s pretty easy to understand why we may so easily become an ever-cycling, depressed, anxious, and catastrophic mess.
What do we do about it?
Day after day, one catastrophe after another. So many mountains made from molehills. The threats may not be real, but the anguish sure is. And that’s why we’re here. Let’s get together again in part two and figure out how to manage. Stay tuned. If you’d like to learn more about cognitive distortions, check out “Stop depression and anxiety: 15 styles of distorted thinking” And take a look at “Cognitive dissonance: Is it one of your triggers?” if you’d like to read even more Chipur mood and anxiety info and inspiration articles, hit the titles.
Your depression and anxiety symptoms amped up. Wisely, you reviewed your triggers to make adjustments. But what if there’s a trigger you aren’t aware of? Cognitive dissonance deserves a long hard look.
Have you ever experienced an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, darkness, anxiety, or tension – and couldn’t figure out why?
Two weeks ago I posted “‘Am I self-sabotaging?’ 15 signs to look for.” Included in causes is cognitive dissonance. Since it can generate so much misery, we need to talk about it. What exactly is this potentially destructive force?
What is cognitive dissonance?
To make sure we’re all on the same page, let’s kick things off with a couple of definitions…
Cognitive: Relating to cognition, the process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses. It generates perceptions, intuition, beliefs, feelings, and behavior.
Dissonance: The tension resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.
Cognitive dissonance (CD), then, is the mental discomfort and psychological stress we experience when we hold two or more contradictory ideas, values, or beliefs.
Jessica’s predicament
How ‘bout an example… Jessica found out her spouse, Henry, is having an affair. When confronted, he said it isn’t the first one and he wouldn’t commit to ending it. Jessica’s values tell her Henry’s behavior is deplorable, and a separation or divorce is justifiable. However, she believes vows are made to be kept. The contradiction of values and beliefs has left Jessica anxious and depressed. Now, in Jessica’s case an identifiable stressor is generating the CD. But never forget, an unidentifiable stressor can be the culprit as well.
Cognitive dissonance: The nuts and bolts
Psychologist Dr. Leon Festinger got the CD ball rolling in 1957. He submitted that humans strive for “psychological consistency” between their personal expectations of life and how life actually plays out. To function within the context of the expectation of consistency in the real world, dissonance reduction is a necessity. It’s the only way we can continually align cognitions – perceptions of the world – with actions.
Psychologically uncomfortable
“I had no idea what cognitive dissonance was, much less that it was a major trigger.”
According to Festinger, when we experience internal inconsistency, we become psychologically uncomfortable – the mental discomfort and psychological stress we talked about earlier. And, again, we may be totally unaware of what’s generating our CD. I mean, think about it. Have you ever experienced an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, darkness, anxiety, or tension – and couldn’t figure out why? Consider CD.
How to manage cognitive dissonance
When we gain insight into the fact that CD is causing major problems in our lives – and we’ve finally had enough – it’s time to roll up our sleeves and do something about it. Here are some immediate reduction techniques, within the context of Jessica’s predicament…
Change the cognition or behavior: “In this case, maybe I can be flexible with my dedication to my vows.”
Justify the cognition or behavior by changing the conflicting cognition: “Given Henry’s behavior, it’s okay to at least learn about my legal options.”
Justify the behavior or the cognition by adding new cognitions: “You know, it really is time to feel good about myself again.”
Ignore or deny information that conflicts with existing beliefs: “My therapist says my commitment to my vows is too rigid. I told her I didn’t want to hear it anymore.”
What do you think? Anything jump out at you about the last one?
Half-truths, lies, and denial
When we’re invested in a given perspective and confronted with disconfirming evidence, we’ll likely devote great energy to justify holding on to the challenged perspective. Half-truths, lies, denial, ignoring trustworthy sources of information – we’re apt to use them when we need to…
Explain inexplicable feelings
Minimize the regret of choices we’ve made and can’t take back
Justify rejection of anything that’s opposed to our views
Align our perceptions of a person with our behavior towards them
Reaffirm held beliefs
And that’s the bottom-line truth.
That long hard look
Like most of us dealing with anxiety or depression, you’re probably aware of your triggers. Great, so you know where to look when symptoms amp up. Are you sure about that? Cover all your bases, okay? When it comes to the causes of our mental discomfort and psychological distress, we need to be curious and creative at all times. Be sure to take a hard look at cognitive dissonance. Mentioned it earlier, why not give it a read? “‘Am I self-sabotaging?’ 15 signs to look for” If you’re looking for more Chipur mood and anxiety info and inspiration articles, you know that’s fine by me. Peruse the titles.
Life can be hard. And when it gets that way we have two choices. We can quit or we can absorb the blows and use them to better ourselves and help others. Experience the Spafford’s story…
’But I do not think of our dear ones there. They are safe, folded, the dear lambs.’
Years ago, I walked into church on Easter Sunday, shook the pastor’s hand, and asked him how he was doing.
He looked me square in the eyes and said, “It is well with my soul.” His facial expression spoke for his sincerity.
I was deeply touched by the pastor’s reply. This guy had something I wanted. So I made it my business to dig in to the origin of “It is well with my soul.”
What I found was fascinating, heartbreaking, and inspiring.
“It Is Well with My Soul”
Fact is, growing up in the United Methodist Church, I’m familiar with the pastor’s words. I’ve sung the hymn “It is Well with My Soul” dozens of times.
Here’s the first verse…
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.
The lyrics of the hymn were written by Horatio Spafford, the music composed by Philip Bliss. It was first published in 1876.
I’ll tell the tale…
A family’s remarkable story
Horatio Spafford
Horatio Spafford was a successful lawyer who’d significantly invested in Chicago property.
Unfortunately, most of his properties were in the area of the city that was horribly damaged by the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
The losses financially ruined him.
If that wasn’t enough, what remained of his business portfolio was decimated by the financial Panic of 1873.
Spafford knew It was time to get away, so he and his wife Anna planned a family trip to Europe on the French steamship Ville du Havre.
However, due to ongoing business challenges, a decision was made that Anna and their four daughters would make the trip, Spafford joining them later.
Tragedy strikes
On November 22, 1873, as seen in our featured image, the Ville du Havre (on the right) collided with the British ship Loch Earn and sank in 12 minutes. All four of their daughters were among the 226 souls lost.
Miraculously, Anna survived; floating unconscious on a plank of wood.
A fellow survivor recalled her saying, “God gave me four daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Someday I will understand why.”
Nine days later, Anna landed in Wales and cabled her husband, “Saved alone. What shall I do…”
Horatio sets sail
Anna Spafford
Horatio made the trip to Europe to meet the grieving Anna and accompany her home.
During his passage, the ship’s captain called him to his cabin to tell him they were passing over the spot where the Ville du Havre sunk.
Horatio, a devout Presbyterian, wrote to Anna’s half-sister: “On Thursday last we passed over the spot where she went down, in mid-ocean, the waters three miles deep. But I do not think of our dear ones there. They are safe, folded, the dear lambs.”
Not long after, Horatio wrote the words for what would become “It Is Well with My Soul.” When Philip Bliss put the words to music, he named it “Ville du Havre.”
Absorbing the blow
Back in the States, the Spaffords had three more children. Sadly, one of them died at age four of scarlet fever.
The Presbyterian Church considered their tragedies divine punishment, so the Spaffords formed a Christian utopian society.
In 1881, the Spafford family, with a small number of society members, left for Jerusalem – setting up what they called the American Colony.
Helping others
The Colony provided aid to the Christians, Jews, and Muslims of Jerusalem – without proselytizing motives. Their soup kitchens, hospitals, orphanages, and other charitable ventures were critical during and immediately following World War I.
The American Colony became world renowned after being featured in the novel Jerusalem, written by Nobel Prize winning author Selma Lagerlöf.
What about you?
Life’s going to get hard – count on it. And we can either throw in the towel or take the hits and turn them into positive thinking and action.
We hear it from family, friends, our therapist – ourselves: “You’re doing it to yourself.” You don’t have to be Sigmund to know the implication is self-sabotage. But is it true? Look for these 15 signs…
You minimize and maximize situations, events, and memories so they conform to your immediate reality.
How often do you hear the perplexing and irritating observation? You know, the one that aggravated the heck out of you last year – and the year before.
Believe me, I get it.
If you’re wondering if self-sabotage is demolishing your life, maybe it’s time to settle the matter.
Dig in…
What is self-sabotage?
The best way I know to kick things off is with a definition. Self-sabotage…
Intentional action or inaction that undermines progress and stands in the way of accomplishing goals. Self-sabotage occurs when one hinders their own success.
Now, I believe “intentional” can be consciously and/or unconsciously. And it’s huge to keep in mind that behind every self-sabotaging action or inaction is a self-sabotaging thought.
I mean, it has to start somewhere.
The top three examples of self-sabotaging behavior? Procrastination, perfectionism, and self-medication.
You may know from personal experience that self-sabotage can generate major problems, such as chronic struggles with food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, and self-injury.
And, of course, destructive behavior can suck us dry of every ounce of inspiration, motivation, and drive we possess.
What causes self-sabotage?
You know how it is with the causes of emotional and mental health ailments. Rarely are there any “for sures.”
That said, the causes of self-sabotage are believed to include a difficult childhood, prior relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, need for a coping mechanism, and cognitive dissonance – the mental discomfort one may feel when holding two conflicting ideas at the same time.
If any of them apply to you, consider it a heads up.
“Am I self-sabotaging?” 15 signs to look for
Here we go. If you’re wondering if you self-sabotage, here are 15 signs to look for.
But real quick, don’t forget about the top three examples we reviewed earlier: procrastination, perfectionism, and self-medication.
Okay, see what fits…
When you look back on your life, you see a pattern of struggling to manage the same symptoms and issues you are now.
There never seem to be obvious reasons for why you don’t feel well.
Your behavior isn’t in synch with your goals and values.
You frequently use the words/concepts “always,” “every,” “never,” “there’s no alternative,” “should,” “must.”
Positives most always fall by the wayside, as negatives get top billing.
You feel uneasy and uncomfortable when you make progress.
Jumping to conclusions and knee-jerk reactions are common.
You know just how lousy things will turn out long before they occur.
You’re sure you know what others are thinking, and their intentions. And it isn’t good.
You minimize and maximize situations, events, and memories so they conform to your immediate reality.
You’re always able to come up with – and focus upon – the worst possible outcome.
One of your personal rules is “I feel it, so it has to be true.”
Instead of rationally explaining events or behaviors, you apply emotionally loaded, rigid, and absolute labels.
You assign responsibility to yourself for situations, events, and people over which you have no control.
You believe you don’t deserve good things and success.
Anything hit home? Keep in mind, these are signs. Let’s just say they place you in the self-sabotage neck of the woods. And it’s up to you to determine if you belong there.
How to manage self-sabotage
“I see the light and I belong here. Self-sabotage is demolishing my life and I’m ready to do something about it.”
Well, you made a decision. There’s no doubt in your mind that self-sabotage is demolishing your life. And you’ve decided it’s gotta’ go. Good.
As you begin your recovery journey, don’t expect 100% resolution. Between genetics, anatomy and physiology, and environmental factors, we have our embedded leanings.
Strive for reducing life interruption, not perfection (there’s that word again).
Therapies
I have always been a proponent of therapy for emotional and mental woes. Not only are the added knowledge and outside observations helpful, it’s nice to have someone along for the ride.
CBT is especially strong for gaining insight into our distorted thinking, and learning how to restructure and repair it. DBT -a form of CBT – is more about distress tolerance and emotional regulation.
DIY
Even if you go the therapy route, “doing it yourself”is key to recovery. So with or without a therapist, here are some important things to focus upon…
Maintain easy access to your sources of inspiration, motivation, and willpower.
Based upon what you’re experiencing in the immediate, reviewing your life for similar thought and behavior patterns needs to be an ongoing activity.
Maintain awareness of the content of your thoughts.
Learn how to restructure – repair – your distorted thinking, and do it.
Don’t get hung up on minutiae.
Don’t think everything has to be just right. Perfection isn’t a necessity.
Make small improvements and note your progress as you work toward accomplishing your goals. And a pat on the back would sure be nice.
And there you have it. The work isn’t always easy, nor is the process an overnighter. But I assure you, you’ll find plenty of gratification along the way.
Be proud of yourself
“You’re doing it to yourself.” You know you’re going to keep hearing it – especially from yourself – until you settle up with self-sabotage.
If you come to the conclusion it’s a problem, handle your procrastination and perfectionism and take care of business.
Your stress response behaves badly and you’ve come to understand why. Great first step, but now it’s time to pull in the reins. And to do it you need to learn about your relaxation response. Let’s get busy…
Is it any wonder the RR is an effective intervention for all sorts of health concerns – anxiety disorders, hypertension, chronic pain…
We began a two-part series last week on our stress and relaxation responses.
Part one handled our stress response (fight/flight) and we’ll wrap things up by digging into our relaxation response.
As I said last week, most everything you’re about to read comes from a great book written by Gregg D. Jacobs, PhD, Say Good Night to Insomnia.
Here we go…
The discovery of the relaxation response
Prior to the 1960s, voluntary control over the autonomic nervous system (ANS) – in charge of our respiration rate, heart rate, digestion, etc. – was thought impossible.
But later that same decade some significant discoveries in the world of biofeedback challenged that notion. And scientists soon discovered control over the ANS could be achieved.
Seems the biofeedback outcomes were so impressive, scientists began studying other ANS-managing mind/body techniques, such as meditation and relaxation.
Dr. Herbert Benson
Dr. Jacobs’ mentor, Dr. Herbert Benson, was one of the first scientists to conduct research on biofeedback, meditation, and relaxation techniques.
After years of research, Benson was impressed by the fact that each of these techniques produced the same physiological quieting response.
He called it the relaxation response.
What is the relaxation response?
Benson proposed that the relaxation response (RR) is our body’s inborn counter-balancing mechanism to the stress response and can be used to offset its damaging effects.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that the RR occurs automatically when it comes to physical stressors; however, such is not the case with psychological stressors.
That means we have to learn to consciously initiate the RR to counter the effects of excessive stress responses.
Is it any wonder that the RR is an effective intervention for all sorts of health concerns – anxiety disorders, hypertension, chronic pain, GI issues, blood sugar stabilization, a vulnerable immune system, insomnia, menopausal hot flashes, and more?
How to turn on the relaxation response
Dr. Benson could have left his work in the discovery process and it would have been “job well done.” However, he went on to define the four elements necessary to elicit the RR…
A quiet place with eyes closed to minimize distractions
A comfortable position and muscular relaxation
A mental focusing device such as breathing, a word, or an image to shift the mind away from distracting thoughts
Passive disregard of everyday thoughts
So with that foundation, according to Benson and Jacobs, here’s what it takes to turn on the RR…
Relax the muscles throughout your body: Lying down or sitting comfortably, close your eyes and feel relaxation gradually spreading. What you’re looking for are feelings such as warmth, heaviness, tingling, floating – or nothing.
Establish a relaxed and abdominal breathing pattern.
Direct your attention from everyday thoughts by using a mental focusing device that’s neutral and repetitive. Jacobs suggests words such as one, relax, peace, heavy. For many, it’s helpful to repeat the word silently with each exhaled breath. The mental focusing device can also be a visual image – a vacation spot, floating on a cloud, or a place of your creation.
Have you ever done it? Do you hurt badly enough to give it a try?
Don’t force it and practice
“Okay, abdominal breaths and stay focused in the moment. Nice and easy, kid.”
It’s important to allow the RR to work at its own pace.
Don’t force it or get upset if things aren’t going as you’d like. And if distractions present, do your best to ignore them and return to your mental focusing device.
Understand that quieting your mind isn’t easy at first. With practice, however, your skills will improve.
Jacobs recommends practicing daily for 10-20 minutes. Of course, that means finding time. But you’re more likely to allocate time if you look at it as something that will improve mood, performance, and health – as important as eating right and exercising.
Jacobs suggests if we can’t find time for developing our RR, we’re likely the ones who need it the most.
Minis
How ’bout what Jacobs calls “minis?” He submits they’re a way to call upon our RR when time is at a premium or we can’t close our eyes (in a traffic jam, waiting in line, in a meeting, etc.).
A mini is an abbreviated RR session. And it involves taking just a few moments to relax your muscles – particularly the neck, shoulders, and face – then practicing abdominal breathing and mental focusing techniques.
Minis offer three advantages: they can be used most anytime and anywhere to cope with stressful situations, they can be used more frequently than a full RR session, and they may end up being more effective than tapping into the RR just once daily.
No knowledge, no relief
So there you have the goods on the relaxation response. Huge to know and activate when our stress response behaves badly, as well as for overall health maintenance.
No knowledge, no relief. Right? I hope you find the series helpful..
If you haven’t already, give part one a go. Great info on the stress response.
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