When your world falls to pieces. That’s one tough spot to be in. And no matter how smart and resourceful you are, it takes some doing to put it back together. Yes, it can be done. Let’s talk…
I recognize emotional dysregulation in myself and have tools that allow me to control it.
And Chipur reader Patricia is in the midst of the whirlwind right now. In fact, she tells us about it in her guest post.
Let’s see what she has to say…
Fall seven times, get up eight. That Kanji is baked onto the cup that holds my pens, a reminder not to lie down and quit (though it has occurred to me many times in the past four months).
Its crackled finish and thick rounded shape add a pleasant tactical reminder of its solid wisdom. I touch it often and it reassures me…
There are those who came before me and survived.
When your world falls to pieces
Unfortunately, it is not enough to have a wise cup when your world falls to pieces.
You need to access an environment that supports that advice and breaks life down into bite sized pieces and then feeds it to you slowly while you spit it out like an infant in a highchair.
Patient, insistent, and infinitely caring; scooping and scraping, wiping, and smiling. Introducing new tastes and textures and allowing you to make an unholy mess of it…before you swallow.
Get the help you deserve
My lifelong best friend threw up her hands one day and said, as only a friend would…
I do not have the skills to help you here, you need professional help. Call me after you have contacted a therapist.
I needed help but was frustrated by the lack of adequate, experienced mental health professionals in my hometown, and paralyzed by the psychological damage it could do if I chose the wrong counselor.
If that happened it could transform my journey to hell in a handbasket into a waterslide into the abyss.
I was emotionally dysregulated, extremely anxious, lacked any orientation to my own needs, and making some unbelievably bad decisions.
Travel with a guide
The road from tragedy to mental health is best traveled with a guide who knows the terrain and has carried a burden like your own.
Grief will darken your environment, and I needed a lamp to find my way to the other side. My survival depended on it, and it still does.
I was unwilling to trust someone too young and whose experience was limited by their age, and I did not know where to find this expert in the field of the lost and grief-stricken.
But I was incredibly lucky that my truthful friend did. She’s the one who introduced me to Kirk – and, by the way, Chipur.
I called immediately. Kirk’s answer came the same day. “Let’s talk.”
Taking better care of myself
Speaking to Kirk is like having access to a customized map to self-healing. His exercises are sound and effective, he listens to me intently, and then delivers an arrow into the root of my problem.
I trust him, so I put the effort into my own healing. I am, as a result, much better. I recognize emotional dysregulation in myself and have tools that allow me to control it.
I am taking better care of myself, have a social life, and recognize my needs. These are huge steps, and Kirk is like my walking stick, supporting me as I pick my way up the path.
I still stumble, but…
I still stumble over the rocky parts, and trip over the roots of buried and entrenched traumas. But increasingly, often I see them first, acknowledging them and successfully step over them.
My worldly problems have not gone away, far from it. But I have a resource that helps me when they become overwhelming, and I am now functioning well in a difficult situation.
The wealth of tools at my disposal are always increasing and Kirk is an incredible resource, one I would not have with a local therapist.
I have also learned that being on the phone, in my own home, makes everything easier and more comfortable. And I am less likely to skip appointments. In fact, I have not missed any.
The consistency of our sessions has sped up my progress towards my goal of mental health and the pursuit of happiness.
The only downside is that I must supply my own tissues.
Make it a priority to get the help you deserve.
Frankly, I have lost count of how many times I have fallen in my lifetime, but the last step was a doozy.
That cup is still there holding pens and advice. It also holds an invisible reminder that I don’t need to do it on my own. Kirk and Chipur are there to help me rise again.
Thank you, Patricia. And I appreciate the kind words regarding Chipur. That it’s helpful means a lot to me.
Incidentally, if you’d like to write a guest post for Chipur, hit the contact link and let me know what’s on your mind.
And if you want to read more Chipur info and inspiration articles, the titles are waiting for you.